To Lizzy,
Over Christmas, my sister and her spouse extended an invitation to spend two weeks at our home. We’re okay with them. However, Christmas vacation doesn’t mean that our lives end. For starters, work and kid-friendly activities. Furthermore, our house isn’t that large! We wouldn’t mind spending three days with them. Max. Without being a complete jerk, how do I tell her this?
The Grinch
To Grinch,
Oh, a traditional Christmas story, but two weeks? No one should ever stay at someone’s house for more than three days without their clear and very specific consent, in my professional view. You should either be a renter or the resident’s child if you intend to spend two weeks at their home.
Yes, spend two weeks traveling to someone’s town. But remain where you are. Create your own plans. Don’t expect others to look after you.
But what should you do since it was you, not your sister, who emailed me this question?
Be honest: On these particular days, we would love to have you stay with us for perhaps two nights. Due to our existing calendar commitments, we simply cannot host for any longer than that! However, let’s arrange a ton of activities to get together!
However, I apologize; if your sister is currently on her way, you should have taken this action right away; it’s too late. It will be difficult to retract your statement that she could stay at your house and still keep your connection with her intact.
In that case, live your life to the fullest. While you’re away, go about your business and other activities and let your sister and her family know what to do. Include them in domestic chores and make sure they are prepared to care for themselves. They can even be tasked with cooking meals. I’m not sure where you reside, but if it’s in Oregon, recommend a few overnight excursions. Perhaps they would like to spend a night or three in a hotel and take the bus to Mount Hood or the beach? Since those are genuinely enjoyable activities, you may present this as a choice without coming across as cruel.
Another thought? Get them to watch the kids so you and your significant other may enjoy a night out!
Try to make the most of your two weeks with your sister if it’s too late. Two weeks isn’t very long in the broad scheme of things, and you probably won’t have many opportunities to spend that much time with her again. Therefore, have a conversation with her, strengthen your bond, and, if at all possible, see it as a good rather than a negative.
And then, when she’s gone, truly, truly enjoy the silence.
I wish you luck!
Lizzy
Do you have a pressing question? My email address is [email protected]. Alternatively, you may use this Google form to ask me a question in complete anonymity.
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