Greetings, Miss Manners My dog can spark a lot of talk. When strangers pause to show their admiration for him, they frequently share a story or two about their own pets or recollections of dogs they have met.
Even though I like this, I’ve found that these individuals frequently tell me about the deaths of their pets or friends’ pets without my asking or any clear conversational indications that would lead to this subject. These tales are frequently in-depth descriptions of how they or a loved one killed their cherished pets, generally accidentally, leaving them with heartbreaking memories and years of emotional consequences.
I know how hard it is to lose a pet. I know that it’s ten times harder when a loved one accidentally kills a pet, and I know that people who have lost pets in this way may find comfort in talking to a friend about their loss.
I’m not their friend, though. I frequently don’t even know the first name of this person. Without embellishing, they will pause me to talk about my dog, tell me a tale about a dog they’ve met, and then strike me with Yes, my daughter’s truck ran him over. We have never all been the same. or a similar phrase.
The fact that these stories are unexpected and come from strangers makes me find them even more upsetting. Is there a courteous way to break up these stories?
Is there a kind way to criticize them for enticing me into a chat about their adorable puppy just to ruin my day with a vivid description of the adorable dog’s terrible death if there isn’t a courteous way to stop this from happening?
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners: Large pieces of meat, atop a filled bowl, create dining dilemma
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Miss Manners: Not every message on a t-shirt deserves your attention or response
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Miss Manners: Was it rude of us to leave friend s band s show prior to the last song?
PERSONAL READER: Reprimanding them—no. However, you can prevent them.
Miss Manners advises holding up your hand and saying, “Wait,” when a disaster story begins. Fido, also known as Achilles, Sweetums, or any other name for your dog, finds these kinds of stories distressing. I do not wish for him to experience nightmares. Please pardon us.
As you give the stranger a pitying glance, you may also attempt teaching him to react to a signal by yanking yourself away.
Greetings, Miss Manners I frequently pick up a few postcards when on vacation at the beach with the intention of sending them, but I seldom ever do. Is sending them from home considered impolite?
I was once advised that postcards should only be mailed from the place you are visiting, but I think it’s still great to let someone know you’re thinking of them, no matter where you are. Is it tacky that the location won’t postmark them?
COURTESY PERSON: Postcards? Instead of always sending your buddies selfies, you would rather send handwritten greetings and photos of destinations.
Miss Manners doesn’t want to complain because that is so lovely. She assumes that depending on the situation, you may alter the tense of your messages: I was thinking of you while I was at Whaler’s Beach.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
