Greetings, Miss Manners A recovering alcoholic who has been sober for several years was invited over for Thanksgiving by a relative. Instead of wine for the evening, he brought a bottle of grape juice.
My spouse and I were serving beverages when we argued over whether to offer the juice in a stemless drinking vessel or in a wine glass. My spouse was concerned that the alcohol-related stemware may act as a trigger of some kind, but I thought the wine glass was more appropriate to assist the guest blend in with those who were drinking wine.
Since then, I have not found any advice. We might use some guidance because I anticipate seeing this guest again around Christmas!
PERSONAL READER: If your husband believes that the improper glass for their grape juice could ruin years of sobriety, they have a very low level of faith in this guest.
For whatever reason, abstaining from alcohol tends to make those who do drink rude. As if alcohol were the staff of life, they ask a lot of inquisitive inquiries or attempt to intimidate or harass the abstainer into drinking. Maybe some people think so.
Miss Manners advises against highlighting who is drinking what by offering a separate glass to a nondrinking guest in order to prevent them from experiencing such embarrassment.
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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