Greetings, Miss Manners Two other couples were invited to dinner by my spouse and me.
Both couples accepted the invitation right away, however they told me the following: One visitor is attempting to avoid sugar and is following a low-salt diet. Avoiding dairy and gluten is another. The fourth claimed to be allergic to seafood, and the third stated that he doesn’t eat meat. How should I proceed?
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GENTLE READER: This is the result of listening to the masses who argue that etiquette should be abandoned since it prioritizes appearance above content. They use a fictitious period when guests were forbidden from informing hosts of significant medical concerns as justification, and they were probably carted off to the emergency room during dessert.
The goal of a good host has always been to ensure that their visitors survive the evening. They also want visitors to have a good time. Additionally, considerate visitors never wished to cause needless trouble for their hosts.
In your situation, Miss Manners is not hesitant to suggest that you offer substitutes for the vegetarian, the visitor who is allergic to fish, and even the person who is following a diet.
The guests are simply avoiding the topics that she finds confusing. The easiest way to determine whether these avoidances are due to genuine problems or if the guests are just repeating doctor’s orders that they don’t intend to follow is to explain the suggested meal beforehand.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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