Greetings, Miss Manners I’ve always been the one to organize enjoyable activities for my buddies. After my husband and I retired, we moved to a golf community in a different area, and I’ve been planning events, ranging from lunch with a few friends to big Christmas get-togethers for women only. (I don’t organize activities for couples because my spouse is ill and doesn’t enjoy socializing.)
While some ladies are always delighted to go, they never return the favor. I’m considering not inviting those women any more, and I’m not sure what to say if they inquire as to why they weren’t invited.
I said, “The phone works both ways,” when a friend said years ago that I hadn’t phoned her to do anything that winter. That must have been very severe. Any more nuanced responses?
PERSONAL READER: Regarding that remark from years ago: I thought you were busy this season because I hadn’t heard from you.
Regarding your current circumstance, Miss Manners thinks it makes sense to exclude those women from future events.
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners: I’m put off when my boyfriend’s stepmom demands she kiss him on the lips
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Miss Manners: We’d like to invite neighbor to our party, but want him to leave his political opinions at home
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Miss Manners: My table manners were called rude. What is a better way to correct someone?
Greetings, Miss Manners I have a really close and old friend. Despite living thousands of miles apart, we still get together a few times a year and have known each other for more than 40 years.
I am middle class, but my friend is quite rich. In order to assist me with some of my family’s challenges, she has sent me a sizable check. How do I politely give this back?
PERSONAL READER: You are really kind to offer to help, but I am unable to take your money. But if it’s okay with you, I will still rely on you for emotional support. Actually, let’s organize our next meeting. It would make me very happy.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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