Miss Manners: Is it bad manners to tell a woman she looks young for her age?

Greetings, Miss Manners Is telling an elderly person that she looks young for her age impolite?

PERSONAL READER: Can’t you just compliment her on her appearance?

Miss Manners is aware that most individuals are charmed to appear younger than they actually are since society views growing older as a shame.

People who disagree with that assumption, however, find it condescending to be treated as though they do—for example, being called a young lady or young man when one is clearly not. Furthermore, a complement doesn’t need to include that.

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Judith Martin

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Greetings, Miss Manners The husband of my challenging mother-in-law passed away. She never seems to appreciate whatever I do for her and always wants more, therefore I don’t want to do anything for her. However, because she is elderly and alone, I feel sorry for her.

Although there are two sisters, they are not related to her. I don’t understand. What ought I to do?

PERSONAL READER: Other than encouraging your husband to assist their mother, is that what you mean?

Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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