Greetings, Miss Manners Every year on Christmas Eve, my husband and I go to his parents’ celebration. We normally leave at 4 p.m. and return home at 9 p.m. They set out a little bowl of nuts, bread, and deli meats.
Everyone contributes something different to the meal. Usually, I cook meatballs or noodles. Everything we offer is eaten every year!
My father-in-law said this year that they don’t want anyone to bring anything because they always have so much food left over.
I can’t decide whether to obey their desires and go hungry for the evening or bring food nonetheless because it’s always devoured.
PERSONAL READER: Miss Manners seems to understand your father-in-law’s instruction and the rationale behind it. Why do you think you might break it?
You don’t go hungry, I see. You can definitely eat before you go if the food given is insufficient.
That hunger, though, can be for the praise you receive for the food you serve. Fair enough, but it’s still not a reason to disregard the host’s stated desire.
However, you will be pleased when someone asks, “You didn’t bring your wonderful pasta dish?” All year long, I eagerly await that. Hopefully, this will be brought up during your father-in-law’s hearing.
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Judith Martin
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Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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