Should the bride have complied with my wishes to use my daughter’s full name and to protect the website’s privacy? Getty Images.Getty Pictures
Greetings, Miss Manners Recently, my daughter served as a flower girl for a relative of my ex-husband at a wedding. The bride asked for my permission to do this while my ex and I were still married, and I granted it.
She later asked me for my daughter’s picture so she could post it on a wedding website. I inquired as to whether the website will be open to the public because I was worried about my small daughter’s privacy. I emailed her a picture because she mentioned it would be password-protected and only the wedding party would be able to access it.
Additionally, I requested that the bride use my daughter’s full, right name (think Mary Ann) everywhere it appeared. Years ago, my ex-husband’s family and friends started referring to her by her full name, Mary, despite my demands that they use it. The bride consented.
My daughter was the flower girl at the wedding, which took place around ten months after I had left my marriage. I didn’t attend the event, and I didn’t anticipate doing so. I discovered shortly after the wedding that the wedding website was, in fact, open to the public and simple to use. Along with her first and last name, my daughter’s photo was made public, and the bride had used Mary rather than Mary Ann.
My ex-husband has stated that he values our daughter’s privacy, so I questioned him about it. Despite having received a password to view the website, he claimed to know nothing about it. He offered to ask the bride to change our daughter’s name and make the site private after her honeymoon. (In my opinion, the bride shouldn’t have revealed the last names of her children at all for privacy reasons.)
Nothing has changed on the webpage even though I know the couple has been back for at least a week.
Should the bride have complied with my wishes to use my daughter’s full name and to protect the website’s privacy? Or did she no longer have that obligation once I divorced her relative?
Stories by
Judith Martin
-
Miss Manners: Resident can ‘opt-out’ of social media bickering over street name pronunciations
-
Miss Manners: I put in a lot of effort supporting a small local alternative school. No one ever thanks me
-
Miss Manners: What can I say to gossipy friend who asked if my husband is cheating?
PERSONAL READER: Indeed, she ought to have made the privacy request. No, the name change It will feel abrasive to insist if the rest of the family is using the shortened form. It’s also a strange argument because one of your arguments is that you don’t want your daughter’s full name to be used in any case.
Instead, Miss Manners advises you to write the bride a kind message stating that Mary Ann had a great time and that the wedding looked lovely, but that you would appreciate it if she could confirm that the website is password-protected.
Any argument that it was private should be disproved by the ease with which you, who were not a visitor, could locate and access it.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Note: Every piece of content is rigorously reviewed by our team of experienced writers and editors to ensure its accuracy. Our writers use credible sources and adhere to strict fact-checking protocols to verify all claims and data before publication. If an error is identified, we promptly correct it and strive for transparency in all updates, feel free to reach out to us via email. We appreciate your trust and support!
