Greetings, Miss Manners Recently, my ex-wife—we were divorced 40 years ago—threw a lavish catered party for her 70th birthday, which is something I would never have imagined doing. I went with a dozen of my ex’s longstanding friends, as did our daughter and her husband. She distributed copies of her self-published poetry collection to each of us.
I had a lot of conflicting feelings after it all. Is this a common occurrence and I was unaware of it? Was it an opportunity for her to be the center of attention, or was it a way for her to express her gratitude for us along the way? Either (or both) would fit with her personality as I have seen it over the years.
I’m not sure if I should be pleased for her, ashamed of her, or even depressed. What do you think?
PERSONAL READER: so it undoubtedly gave you confused material for future rumors. Miss Manners would think you’d like that. Because why should you feel sad or ashamed if your ex-wife isn’t?
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners: I ve told friends I don t want to be in group photos. Why do they persist?
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Miss Manners: Host plans a tricky menu so certain family members don t pack home all the leftovers
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Miss Manners: I know my online crush isn’t the celebrity he says he is, but I’m falling in love with him anyway!
Greetings, Miss Manners Who should follow up to reschedule a long-planned Sunday dinner at the host’s house when the visitor cancels just a few hours prior (due to illness)? The visitor or the host?
GENTLE READER: Even though the host secretly resents that the elaborately planned supper was disrupted at the last minute, genuine illness is excused.
Miss Manners proposes that the host say, “I hope you are feeling better,” since it would be assumed that the visitor would reschedule the event and it is unclear when they will be well again. If you are able, we would love to reschedule for next week; if not, kindly inform us when you are completely recovered, and we will arrange a time.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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