Greetings, Miss Manners One of my most valued friends is no longer with me.
She began to distance herself from me after 12 years of traveling, spending Saturday afternoons at markets, having in-depth chats over coffee, seeing each other many times a year (after she moved 1,000 miles away), and lending a hand with projects.
She would only respond that nothing was wrong and that nothing had changed when I asked her what was going on. She pretended that I was having hallucinations.
She stated that she had relocated back here, almost as an aside, in a card that I received in the mail a few months ago. I called her right away to find out how I had missed her return move. “I’ve been here for six weeks already,” she added, laughing.
I didn’t say anything out loud, but I felt crushed. The day the choice was decided, the buddy I had known would have given me a call. In fact, she would have given me a call beforehand to discuss the advantages and disadvantages. During those six weeks, we would have met at least a dozen times.
Rather, in the four months since she returned, we have only met once, and that was to watch a parade for thirty minutes. Since then, whenever I’ve tried to invite her out for lunch or coffee, she has responded silently.
To be honest, I have no idea what transpired. Shall I just accept this quiet on the radio?
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners: I put in a lot of effort supporting a small local alternative school. No one ever thanks me
PERSONAL READER: Yes, unless you’d like to try tackling the issue head-on one more time: We have obviously become more distant, and I don’t know why. Even though you claim that everything is OK, you can’t deny that our friendship has changed. Please let me know if I’ve done something incorrectly so I can take the necessary action and make corrections.
Miss Manners worries that you will have to move on and accept the loss if your former pal keeps being sulky. After that, choose if you wish to stay away from her at the supermarket.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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