Greetings, Miss Manners In front of people who aren’t invited, a friend of mine discusses plans she and I have together. She often tells others that she wants her hand-picked group at the table, so they can’t sit with us at lunch.
I am aware that it would be impolite to reprimand her manners. How do I tell her that I don’t want to be a part of this without coming across as disrespectful myself?
Stories by
Judith Martin
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GENTLE READER: Although you are obligated to refrain from participating in her rudeness, she will eventually learn from your example.
Change the topic, preferably subtly, to put an end to the conversations about future plans. It should be sufficient to discuss it later.
Miss Manners understands that it will be more challenging to defy her impromptu seating orders. You will need to decide whether to counter her and when it will be better for you to arrive late yourself, since it is not always unreasonable to hold seats.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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