Miss Manners: I caught my snooping wife examining the Christmas gift I bought her. Can I return it?

Greetings, Miss Manners Would you be able to advise me on how to handle current snoopers?

I bought my wife a Christmas present, and I caught her red-handed with it. I had made it clear to her where it was concealed so she wouldn’t unintentionally stumble upon it, but it seems that I lost faith in her.

When I informed her that I would be returning the present, she became furious, but I didn’t think it was inappropriate. To put it mildly, she became really vulgar and personal. I have no doubt about how improper her response was, so I don’t need to reiterate anything.

I would like to know if it is improper to return a gift that has been (deliberately) found. What is the appropriate protocol for snooping around?

HUMAN READER: Whoa. Miss Manners is glad she won’t have to answer questions about that obscene behavior. She will just think about what to do with the present because it seems like you are not thinking about taking your wife back to where you found her.

Allowing her to retain the gift once she finds it might be a kinder—and possibly more acceptable—solution, leaving her with nothing to open on Christmas.

Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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