Greetings, Miss Manners We throw two holiday parties every year because our house is so small, effectively dividing one large gathering into two occasions so that everyone can attend.
We send distinct invitations to distinct guest lists. Conversations between friends who question why one was invited on this day and another on another are often a little awkward.
Could I send out an invitation with the names of both events on it and ask visitors to RSVP for the one they want to attend? Of course, guests would have to answer that. We presently only ask for regrets, but many people don’t even send them.
I want my pals to feel free to attend wherever time works best for them. Is that cheesy?
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Judith Martin
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PERSONAL READER: People who don’t even bother to respond to your invites are causing you a great deal of trouble.
What if everyone wants to come on the same day, even if this new plan makes them respond? Your ability to make the best use of your area would be undermined by uneven attendance.
Miss Manners would only invite courteous individuals, so there would only be one party. A very personal one, maybe. But since you have been graciously ignoring the impoliteness of unanswered invites year after year, you probably want them all.
Here is a more considerate recommendation: On both sets of invitations, scrawl the words “A list,” as if by mistake.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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