To Annie, please: I’ve been best friends with a girl I grew up next door for more than 50 years. I recall being unhappy over her dad’s treatment of her when I was around twelve years old and returning home from her place. He viewed her as inferior to her older sister and was consistently icy and brusque.My parents kind of dismissed it when I told them about it. I overheard my dad explain that it was likely because this man wasn’t my friend’s true father. My parents began talking about this, assuming I had left the room and was out of earshot. I asked them what that meant as soon as I returned to the room, much to their surprise. They made an effort to backtrack, but I was aware of what I had heard and demanded an explanation. He was not her biological father, they informed me when they set me down. Since I was just twelve, they did not provide me with specifics, but they did make me swear to keep quiet. Even after both of her parents died, I have fulfilled that pledge for forty years.She recently told me that she was interested in her family tree and that she wanted to have her heritage done at one of those DNA testing facilities. I’m so overcome with remorse now! I’m terrified that she will learn the truth. It might explain her father’s treatment of her, on the one hand, but how would I respond if she told me? Would I pretend it was new to me too, or would I acknowledge that I’ve always known? Do you think I should tell her what I know? I don’t want to lie to someone who is so significant in my life, but I’m not sure what the proper course of action is. I’ve talked to my parents about it since I’ve grown up, and they’ve described how this all occurred 54 years ago. Now that I know everything, what should I do with it? — Having troubleTo Struggling, You had to make the hard decision as a child: betray your best friend’s or your parents’ confidence. You find yourself in the same lose-lose scenario more than half a century later.Generally speaking, being honest is the best course of action, but in this instance, it will simply make her feel worse and might even terminate your friendship forever. In the end, you had no right to tell your friend the truth about her father. She seems prepared to take whatever knowledge is forthcoming and, for whatever reason, is now interested in her family’s history. considerably though maintaining this façade is challenging, your friend will be considerably more devastated if she discovers that her best friend and family have been deceiving her for years. Be ready to assist her in discovering the truth. She will require it.
To Annie, please: The anxious senior who was unsure about their major might want to think about spending two years at a nearby junior college. It was a wise decision for one of my children who was unsure of her career path. She simply began attending general education classes and was not required to declare a major. It was inexpensive, so she could try other things.She was able to save money by finding a solid job and living at home. People switching majors frequently is one of the causes of high student loan debt. It counts as your first two years if they earn an associate’s degree and transfer it to a university.Additionally, I’ve heard of children attending vocational school to learn skills like welding. They land work right away, and some of them spend their free time creating intricate sculptures! Don’t undervalue community colleges! They offer skills that are in high demand and significantly less expensive than college. — AlternativesDear Other Choices: Many of you sent in letters with suggestions for stressed about realistic substitutes for a conventional four-year university. For people who want to learn a trade, save money, or just take a little more time to figure out their future, options like junior college or vocational school are great.
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