To Annie, please: I am a 47-year-old lady who has been dating Greg for about six years. I truly can’t picture being with anyone else right now since I’m so content with him. One thing stands out: He hasn’t made a proposal, and I’m not sure if he ever will.I almost feel desperate for him to pop the question now, but I don’t want to drive him away and destroy our relationship. Additionally, I do not want to waste any more years in a relationship that is doomed.He kind of dismissed it when I brought it up to him once, saying, “One day, when the time is right.” However, I’m beginning to think that day may never come. He had a nasty divorce from his last marriage, and I’ve noticed that he always seems a touch resentful of the idea. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Let’s see how long that lasts,” whenever someone we know gets engaged.A number of friends and family members have recently inquired as to when we plan to get married, and I find it extremely uncomfortable that I am unable to respond. I’m too afraid it may backfire, but one buddy suggested that I offer him an ultimatum. I know he loves me just as much as I do, and I don’t want to lose him.How can I discuss marriage with him without coming across as pressured but still making it clear how important this is to me? Should I just be content to be in this wonderful relationship, or am I mistaken for desiring this commitment? — Wondering and WaitingDear Wondering and Waiting: Marriage is the pinnacle of love and dedication for some people. Others might accept it or reject it. Others are adamantly against it, claiming that they can demonstrate their love without formal documentation.Speaking with Greg directly is the only way to ascertain his position. He seems to be harboring resentment and anxiety from his previous marriage, which can be resolved with dialogue and a skilled therapist’s assistance.Inform Greg as soon as possible if marriage is something you cannot compromise on. If someone can’t give you what you desire in the end, you don’t want to stay with them.
To Annie, please: I would strongly advise your older readers who are thinking of getting married to discuss the financial risks of marriage with a financial advisor.In addition, married individuals are responsible for each other’s debts (consider medical bills). There’s nothing like unexpectedly losing your spouse and having to deal with crippling medical bills. If a couple is married, long-term care also depletes their assets. This led to the divorce of two couples I know.Their way of living could drastically change if they lost even a few hundred dollars a month. Having a commitment ceremony is fine, but elderly people should be aware of the financial risks associated with getting married officially. It might endanger their health. — UsefulTo Practical, I appreciate you sharing your viewpoint. Before agreeing to be married, all couples, regardless of age, should discuss money. The requirement for expert guidance increases with the amount of money involved.
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