To Annie, please: I met a guy on a dating service seven years ago. Despite being 13 years older than him, I appear considerably younger. He asked me out on a date after we matched, and we shared a kiss. He never asked me out again after that, despite the fact that we continued to flirt, chat, and have many suggestive discussions.We have stayed good friends over the years. He occasionally stops contacting me for weeks at a time, but he always returns. He has nevertheless given me a ride from the airport, spent a day cleaning my garage, and put together a bike for me, among other acts of kindness, despite this inconsistency. We always end up kissing. When things heated up the last time, he withdrew, claimed to be sweating, and walked away.Like best friends, we are. He continues to flirt with me and often says, Maybe one day we ll be intimate. I don’t believe he’s dating anyone based on what he tells me. However, after all these years, I’m beginning to question whether this is a pointless endeavor or if I’m wasting my time.Is it better to give up and move on, or should I continue to hope that a romantic relationship may blossom? — In a state of limbo
Dear Limbo: You seem to have spent years in emotional limbo with this man. While he values you enough to stay in your life and help out, his inconsistency and hesitation suggest he s not ready or willing to commit to something deeper.Ask yourself: Is this relationship giving you what you want? Otherwise, it’s time for an open discussion with him. Express your feelings to him and inquire about his true desires. Whether you need closure or a connection, be upfront about what you need.You deserve someone who s certain about you and ready to commit. Don t settle for maybe one day when you could have something real with someone else.
Send your questions for Annie Lane [email protected].
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