Greetings, Abby We have been engaged for a year, and I have been with the same man for three years. Despite my deep love for him, I recently found out over the phone that he has been having affairs with individuals he found online. I’ve seen some of his emails as well.Does this imply that he is bi and hasn’t disclosed it to me? I am at a loss on what to do. Before I make a mistake, please help me. — LOVEDEAR HURTING HURTING: This indicates that your fiancé is either gay or bisexual. Tell him you are aware of what has been happening for both of you, since marriage vows won’t make him change if he is currently unfaithful. Ask your doctor to test you for sexually transmitted diseases, and then postpone the wedding so you can find a reliable partner and he can find a relationship where he can be himself.
Greetings, Abby Due to our son-in-law’s employment, our daughter, son-in-law, and two grandchildren reside in Australia. Our daughter is requesting a list of our acquaintances so she can send invites to our grandson’s upcoming bar mitzvahe. We are certain that none of our friends will accept the invitation because traveling to Australia is such a lengthy and costly trip, and they will interpret it as a request for a gift. Do we need to send her the list she’s asking for? — Dear Grandparents, I am confused. For the reasons you mentioned, I oppose inviting anyone who is not a close family. It will appear to be a bid for presents or cash due to the distance. Sharing the news of your grandson’s rite of passage with friends orally is a tactful way to do so. They can then offer to give the boy something. The invitation list could be influenced by the comments you get.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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