Greetings, Abby I’ve been married for almost two decades. My mother-in-law has consistently been judgmental, passive-aggressive, and interfering with our business. Because he was never able to confront her, my husband never told her to stop. Unfortunately, I didn’t defend myself either. I finally snapped and partially cut her off.Although he claims to support me, my husband has never demonstrated this. These days, he frequently talks to her outside the house and tells me lies about it. He has also emotionally distanced himself from me since I confronted her, something he was hardly able to do previously. She continues to be involved in every aspect of his life and speaks to him as though he were still her young child.I’m done with this toxic relationship. Despite my insistence on therapy, I haven’t noticed any difference in him. He only goes because I make him. Do you have any recommendations? — In New York, burned out
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Abigail Van Buren
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DEAR BURNED OUT: The dynamic you described is harmful, and I agree with it. Your husband seems to have a stronger bond with his mother than with you. Don’t act impulsively or furiously. Continue discussing your options with your therapist to determine how to proceed if you are genuinely burned out.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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