Greetings, Abby We had a lot of fun with my son and his wife after their 2003 marriage. With the advent of cellphones, things have changed. She is constantly on her phone when they visit our house, making it very impossible to build a relationship with her! As my youngster converses with his father, I find myself sitting there unsure of what to do.Would you discuss this with your daughter-in-law? When she gets there, she picks up the phone right away and spends the most of her time on it. When cellphones were less common, things weren’t like this. We don’t often see each other, so it irritates me that she travels all the way to my house just to hang out with her Facebook pals rather than us.Shall I say something? I don’t want to alienate them or cause issues for them. Although I adore them, I find it impolite that she spends the entire time they are here on her phone. I get the impression that I’m not worthy of her conversation. This isn’t like my other two daughters-in-law, who might use their phones from time to time. — In Kentucky, the phone is off.
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Abigail Van Buren
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Greetings, Off: It goes without saying that your daughter-in-law is being impolite. It’s also disrespectful. Unless you and your spouse speak up, it won’t stop.
Don’t frame your message as being impolite when you do. Tell her that it offends you and makes you feel as though she doesn’t appreciate your business as much as you do hers. It also prevents quality travel.
She might become less defensive if you say it this way because it’s the truth.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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