Greetings, Abby I have two daughters and am a single mom. Becca, my eldest child, is seventeen. She has been seeing this guy and intends to move in with him and two of his buddies (another couple) as soon as she graduates. The toxic nature of their connection is what concerns me. They quarrel all the time.
She refuses to move in with him, even though I have pleaded with her not to. Becca struggles with abandonment. Before our divorce, my second wife emotionally abused everyone, and her mother abandoned us when Becca was a baby. This, in my opinion, is the reason Becca is unable to recognize the problems in her own relationship.
How do I let Becca know that she is committing a grave error? I don’t want her to become trapped in a bad relationship. Because none of them can stop themselves, I’m also concerned that she will become pregnant immediately away. Please assist. — Only one father in Arizona
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Greetings, Dad: Becca might decide against living with her boyfriend after graduation after a year of arguments. It’s only a matter of hope. If she doesn’t, though, try to work out a solution with her. Express your love for her and let her know that you’re always available if she needs to return home.
To make sure Becca is protected from an unintended pregnancy that may ruin her life, ask her if she would be open to starting to use long-term (reversible) birth control, such as an IUD or contraceptive implant. If she’s willing, your family doctor can go over her alternatives with her. (I’m hoping that she recognizes the wisdom.)
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
