Greetings, Abby I believe that my husband and I have a good marriage after 16 years of dating.
I have a question regarding the continuous discussions we have been having over my hair color. I dyed my hair red after it was gray for the first few years we were together. Even though I know he appreciated it, I only did it to prevent needlessly aging in the job. My husband was aware of this.I’m retired now, and I stopped coloring my hair two years ago. Ever since, he keeps saying that he wants me to go back to having red hair. I’ve told him over and over again that I don’t want to do that. Is it true that he loves me less now than he did when I was a redhead? He claims that growing gray has made him feel older.I have expressed my disappointment and annoyance at his persistent attempt to get me to color my hair once more. I get the impression that he’s attempting to get outside support for his position because he even brings it up in front of our friends. I enjoy having gray hair.Although it pains me if my spouse thinks I’m less attractive or that he feels older because of my gray hair, I question why my choice of hair color carries such weight. Don’t I have the right to choose? I wouldn’t even consider telling him how to style his hair. What do you think? — NEW YORK’S SILVER GIRL
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Abigail Van Buren
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HI GIRL: It seems like this has devolved into a power fight, which is not what it should be. Yes, you have the right to choose the color of your hair. (Is it feasible to wear a red wig when your spouse is feeling lustful?) Maybe dyeing his own hair might make him feel younger if he feels elderly among gray hair.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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