Greetings, Abby I changed my personality and plunged into psychosis twenty years ago. I regret the things I did. I left my 13-year-old daughter with my ex-husband after having an affair, getting married again, and leaving the country. A skilled psychiatrist and decent medicine helped me get over it fifteen years ago.
I sincerely apologize for my actions, and I have tried my best to make amends. Nevertheless, despite my sincere regrets, grief, and intense shame, my relationship with my daughter has never fully recovered.
Now fast-forward to: I was not invited to my daughter’s recent wedding, but her father was. I was heartbroken. For years, I’ve been making a lot of effort to win back her trust and let her know how much I care. The thought of being excluded from her wedding makes me cry every time, even though I know I can’t make her forgive me.
I’m trying really hard to get over my period of lunacy from all those years ago, and I have a therapist. I adore my daughter dearly. Is there anything I can do to make our relationship better, or do I just have to get along till she forgives me? — IN A WASHINGTON STATE
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: It bothers me when my friend refuses to wear a bra in public. Should I stop being seen with her?
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Dear Abby: Is late announcement of baby, that s already 2 months old, a gift grab?
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Dear Abby: Life-saving sobriety turned my son into a critical, condescending person
DEAR IN A STATE: Other than what you have told me, I don’t know you or your daughter. For advice, keep speaking with your therapist. This person is most familiar with your past and your efforts to make up for the harm you did. The best person to guide you through the difficult journey ahead is your therapist.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
