Greetings, Abby Through our son, my ex-husband and I have a 3-year-old grandchild. Since I live in the same city as my son’s family, it hasn’t been a major issue up until now, but that is going to change. The love of my life is my grandson, and with my son’s job transfer, I want to go see them wherever they go. I had been thinking about returning to our hometown. My kid has also been thinking about moving back there, although I was unaware of this.The fact that my ex-husband still resides there and is tempted to monopolize the child, just like he did with our son, is my issue. Twenty years after our divorce, he still acts hostilely against me.There is a part of me that believes that in order to be close to my grandson, I must be willing to endure the anguish of being close to my ex. But for the sake of what I believed to be the welfare of our children, it makes me want to stay married to him. In retrospect, that was obviously a mistake. Should I put my misgivings aside, return to my hometown, and wait to see what happens? — CHOICES TO MAKE
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Greetings, Decisions Talk to your son and daughter-in-law about your concerns. Could they put a stop to your ex-husband’s attempts to monopolize their child?
Positively, you’ve changed over the past 20 years as a woman. I would like to believe that you have grown stronger and more intelligent. If I’m correct, you would have the access you desire to your grandson, and even though your ex might be a pain in the ass, it would be bearable.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
