Greetings, Abby I’ve been married to my spouse for ten years, and we’ve been dating for twenty. I recently learned that he has been lying about his employment for over a year. In order to pass off our savings as revenue from this fictitious job, he pretended to have a part-time contracting work.We have been in a hard spot since we had made several financial decisions over the past year under the presumption that he was employed. When I challenged him, he first denied everything and even produced fictitious employment documents before eventually confessing. This betrayal is causing me to feel a range of emotions, and I’m not sure how to handle it. Are you able to help me? — CALIFORNIA DUPEDDEAR DUPED Your husband may have lied to you because he was ashamed of losing his job. When he was supposed to be working, what was he doing? Your current financial situation may not be the only issue he (and you) are facing. Is your spouse looking for work elsewhere? For what reason was he fired?Ask a certified public accountant or financial advisor what steps you should take to regain stability in your finances. You didn’t specify if you have a job, but if not, it’s time to get one. Marriage counseling is essential after that.
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: I feel like the man I ve been with for 6 years is never going to ask me to marry him
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Dear Abby: My husband’s cruel ‘jokes’ about my dad are ruining our marriage
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Dear Abby: Why should I have to follow my wife’s heart-healthy diet. I’m fine!
Greetings, Abby My siblings all went their separate ways, and my last parent died 24 years ago. When we were younger, we weren’t close. Being the youngest, it was difficult for me to suddenly have no biological relatives.I got back in touch with my estranged brother a few years ago. My spouse and kids adore him, and we share a lot of similarities. The issue is that he calls me horrible names when he’s drunk. I have no idea why it hurts me. Sometimes he has a wonderful day, but then something irritates him.I would hate to upset him and for our sibling relationship to deteriorate once more, but I want to say something to him. I feel like everything I’m considering saying will be detrimental to our friendship. I’m in need of some good counsel, and I’ll accept it. — DISAGREABLE SISDEAR SIS: I hope you understand that one of the typical signs of alcoholism is what you have mentioned. Press the record button on your phone the next time you and your brother are together and there is alcohol around so you can play it for him once he has sobered up. Then let him know that you would rather he stick to punch while you are together going forward.
Greetings, Abby I’ve always felt a connection to my partner’s parents. However, I now feel a stronger emotional bond with them than with my partner. Am I cheating on my significant other, or is this healthy? — IN THE MIDWEST DEAR CONFUSED PERplexed: Did you mean that you are physically attracted to your S.O. or that you have more in common with their parent than with your S.O. when you stated “emotionally connected”? Put an end to the romance if it’s the latter. If you don’t, your S.O.’s family will be in disarray, and it’s probably going to end badly for everyone.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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