Greetings, Abby For the last two years, I was in a relationship with a man. We had a good time together most of the time.
But occasionally, our conversations would degenerate into bitter and unpleasant disputes. He would ignore my opinions, eventually silence me, and act as though I was to blame for the argument.
I ultimately made the decision to break up with him after our most recent dispute. Even though I tried to explain every statement or query I asked, I will admit that some of these debates were driven by alcohol, which would give them an accusing tone.
It makes me feel conflicted about the woman I am and could be when I consider how I let this person tear me apart and beat me down. I also question how I permitted his actions to be accepted.
I made the decision to separate for my own sanity. However, I worry that I might repeat the pattern by apologizing extensively, which is what I normally do to win back his favor.
I’m worn out and depressed. I want to remain strong and avoid letting ephemeral recollections of enjoyable moments in the past influence my choices regarding this or any other relationships in the future. How? — Breaking free in Florida at last
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: Is there anything I can do to stop my 85-year-old mom from trying to be my fashion twin?
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Dear Abby: Dad turns his back on son who decides to take his new wife s last name
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Dear Abby: It feels dishonest to beg for donations for someone who likely will mismanage the money
DEAR FINALLY BREAKING: Start by taking action regarding your drinking if it affects the tone of your voice when you attempt to explain yourself.
Volunteering, taking up a new interest, or keeping active with friends and work are all good strategies to fight loneliness.
It’s equally crucial to make sure the person you’re seeing respects you more than your previous partner did before entering into a new love engagement.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
