Greetings, Abby When 69-year-old Mom moved closer to them, Looking Out for Mom in Chicago (Aug. 16) was anxious that she wasn’t going out and interacting with people, and they were frightened that they would be her sole source of support as she grew older. She has always been bashful, they added.I can relate to their mom because I’m an introvert who is about 70 years old. Being introverted and moving to a new place without friends isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When I go to town to shop and chat with familiar clerks, I get all the socializing I need.It is hard for an introvert to be pushed into unfamiliar circumstances. The situation is really uncomfortable. those must understand that there are those who are actually content to be alone. — WISCONSINDEAR THE CATHY: I appreciate you sharing your knowledge. Experiences from other readers who have been there were also shared. Continue reading:
Greetings, Abby As a social worker with years of experience working with the elderly, I can assure you that Looking’s mother will not comply with or react well to being told she needs to socialize and make friends. She can be mourning the passing of her former religious community, her acquaintances from back home, and other people. It might take her some time to make sense of everything. Let her choose when she’s ready to reach out and expand her circle if she’s staying active, healthy, and taking care of herself.Social interactions and friendships cannot be coerced. They happen naturally. Instead of telling her what she must do, how about having a conversation with her and gently asking how she is adjusting and how they can support her more helpfully? Made with silver in Massachusetts
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: Why did husband send holiday cards to family who let us down during daughter s wedding?
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Dear Abby: Dining card gift etiquette questioned. Should we offer to pay part of gift-giver s meal too?
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Dear Abby: We planned to have a baby. But now that I m pregnant my husband s attitude has me feeling alone
Greetings, Abby You made the appropriate suggestion when you suggested that Mom volunteer. Through volunteering, an individual can become as involved as they like in their areas of interest. In my hometown, I joined a dog therapy group. It offers brief, informal tours to medical facilities, rehabilitation centers, assisted living facilities, school campuses, workplaces, and manufacturing plants. Although the person receiving the visit is the main focus of dog therapy, EVERYONE gains from it. — DON IN ABBY, SOUTH CAROLINADE: Could I recommend that they get Mom’s hearing examined? People are deterred from participating in group activities when they can’t hear what is happening. — MARGO IN ABBY, ILLINOISDEAR: On behalf of Shy Mom, you could also mention that enrolling in a few local adult education classes in subjects she is interested in will open up her social circle. Even better, she is free to attend class without having to talk to people unless she so chooses. — In California, John J.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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