Greetings, Abby My 18-year marriage, which ought to have ended years ago, terminated lately. I met Winston, the most amazing man, while I was making up my mind to leave. He is the complete opposite of my ex-husband; he treats me like a queen.I accepted Winston’s offer to relocate into an empty trailer on his property when my previous house was sold during the divorce process. I’m sorry we didn’t meet years ago and start a life together because we get along so well.My best pal is Winston. Since we met a year ago, he has only shown me respect. We didn’t advance our relationship until six weeks ago, when my divorce was finalized. I’ve been living in the trailer for three months, and I’m content. He and his sister reside in the house next door. He and her have never been married.We’ve already discussed marriage. In about six months, he wants us to get married. Since I need time to recover and have experienced a lot, including moving, changing my name, changing my residence, etc., I was considering getting engaged in six months. Our connection is now strained as a result of this.I informed Winston that although I haven’t been divorced for even two months, I DO want to get married. I need more time to get used to a relationship that is so different and more typical. I was a little shocked when he said he wanted to get married in six months because he had previously assured me there was no pressure and that he understood I needed time.I don’t believe I’m being irrational. Do you? What ought I to do next? Although I’m not ready yet, I definitely want to live with him. — IN THE EASTDEAR PAUSING TO BREATHE: You recently left a bad marriage. Winston was on the rebound when you met him. Before getting married again, you DO need time to heal and find your identity. You claimed that there was a rift when you advised Winston to take his time. That is a serious red flag that raises doubts about the quality of a marriage with him.After a terrible occurrence, people are recommended to refrain from making any significant decisions for a year. I concur. Get to know Winston AND HIS SISTER a lot better before walking to the altar. I m also advising you to find a place other than his trailer to live so you can learn to be independent again.
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Greetings, Abby I m a lonely girl without many friends. The friends I do have I hold on to tightly. One of them is now moving to a different state. She said we would stay in touch and I d see her once more before she leaves, but she hasn t been answering my calls or texts. She hasn t been talking to another friend, either. My mom says I should stop calling her and she will answer when she has a chance. What should I do? — LONELY FRIEND IN VIRGINIADEAR FRIEND: Your mother is a wise woman. There could be more than one reason why your friend hasn t responded to your efforts to reach out. She could be busy. She could be having separation anxiety, just as you are. Or she could be feeling smothered and overwhelmed. Listen to your mother and take a step back.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby atwww.DearAbby.comor P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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