To Eric, I’ve been writing for many years.
I spent a lot of time listening to the achievements of grown children during a recent family visit. I listened well and asked questions. When my husband read a narrative he had written, the family was extremely appreciative of his efforts.
Nobody inquired about my writing in the interim.
I guess I secretly resented my hubby receiving so much attention and praise. I began the story I was telling about him in a way that was unflattering. Everyone stopped talking to me. The following morning, I apologized to my spouse and to everyone else after he told me that I had offended him.
Later on, I recognized that this was nothing new to me—I was feeling depressed and needed someone to lower themselves to my level. In order to present himself in a more favorable light, my father frequently disparaged me. Six decades later, I still struggle to get over the trauma I experienced as a youngster because of him.
How can I break free from this pattern? I’m not sure what to do next, even though I know that simply being aware of the problem is insufficient. I would be very appreciative of any guidance you could provide me to assist me overcome this childhood problem.
Desire to Modify
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
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Asking Eric: I don t want my monetary gift to niece, nephew to be split with their step-siblings
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Asking Eric: I can t sit by silently and allow my son to continue another generation of abuse/domestic violence
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Asking Eric: Older couple longs to be included in local family holiday celebrations. It s time to just ask
To Change, please: As a writer, you are well aware that a character’s shortcomings, which they are oblivious to and reluctant to alter, frequently cause them to stumble. However, you are not a fictional character, and by identifying the problem and choosing to change your path, you have taken two excellent starting steps. On the plot arc, you’re reaching the top and, ideally, coming to a happy ending.
Continue to analyze how your father’s treatment has impacted you, both in your journal and, if feasible, in therapy. You can find tools to avoid, remove, and create new patterns by recognizing the traps that have been set for you.
Check out a local or online writer’s club. We all require affirmation, support, and occasionally sympathy. Spending time with other authors will help you adjust your expectations for your family and, ideally, make you feel seen.
Remember that the achievements of others do not take away from your own work the next time you are with relatives and you are itching to be acknowledged. And ask your family to listen without fear. Could I share a piece of writing that excites me? is a means of introducing people to what may be a solitary craft and starting a conversation. Additionally, keep in mind that our target audience isn’t usually our family. It can be just as fulfilling to find other topics you enjoy discussing or to be content with the satisfaction of being a good audience (and providing good fodder for future stories).
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
