To Eric, My spouse and I, who are both contentedly retired and get substantial pensions and Social Security, go grocery shopping together once a week. We use our flight-points credit cards in turn to make payments. When the bill comes in, we divide the cost of our groceries evenly, paying the same amount for everything we buy at our favorite supermarket.
We usually buy a few inexpensive personal favorites that neither of us likes to eat, but for the sake of simplicity, we have decided to divide the grocery expenses equally, 50/50.
On occasion, my husband treats himself to a piece of expensive, extra-smoked pork that he purchases online from a specialty store. I don’t want to eat it since I find the fragrance alone repulsive. Based on our arrangement to divide the cost of food, he is adamant that I should pay for this as well.
But since it’s a custom order for him, I don’t think I should pay half of the price, which he feels is unjust and goes against our agreement. Paying for something that is ordered outside of our regular food shopping, costs more than our typical groceries, and I won’t eat is absurd in my opinion. Here, who is acting irrationally?
Grocery shopping
To Grocery, Most likely, both of you as well as the store that sets the pork’s prices. Since you made a deal, I honestly believe your husband is being more irrational than you. But it’s incredible that this didn’t become a problem sooner because it’s so excessively difficult.
Is it allfood groceries or just food bought at the grocery store? What happens if you purchase Girl Scout cookies from the store’s curb?
Above all, what is the true nature of this?
Do you think you’re being more frugal and don’t get to enjoy the same things as before? If so, it’s a good idea to set up two distinct budget lines for indulgences: one for him and one for you. They’re the breaks if he spends all of his money on one or two hog items and you still have money left over to spend however you like.
But once more, consider and discuss what is actually happening here. Does this have to do with feeling insecure about money? Does this have to do with an uneven distribution of domestic duties? Is a habit of careless behavior reflected in the pork? These may all be discussed and worked on. However, in order to accomplish this, you must address the core of the issue.
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To Eric, My partner and I have been dating intermittently for several years. He assured me that on his next birthday, our partnership will be formally established. However, I discovered he had cheated on me. It aches a lot. He is now engaged to her. He wants to be friends with me now. How do I permanently remove him from my life?
Heartbroken
To My Heartbroken: Block, remove, and call a friend—that is, let them know you need their assistance to halt this cycle. Hold me back if I start discussing contacting him.
I apologize if he has been misleading you. In this situation, friendship must be earned. He isn’t acting in that way. Now is a fantastic moment to move on.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
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