To Eric, I recently came across a letter titled “Former Friend,” from a parent whose son’s classmate remained in touch long after their son had lost touch. As someone who is still in contact with many of my son’s former classmates, I share my perspective.
For starters, they may actually like you as a person. It’s a great chance for them to make their own independent friendships as adults.
Second, you may be viewed by some young people as a parent figure that they do not have. You could be viewed as a source of guidance.
Three, you have occasionally served as their haven. I was a young person decades ago with an abusive father and a deceased mother. I would have done anything to have a responsible adult to confide in. For some, I’ve been that safe haven as an adult. Any of these could be a part of you.
Due to the responsibilities of his personal life, my son does not maintain close contact with all of these individuals, but he still views them as friends. On the other side, I constantly hear from them, see them, and feel their care. I consider myself fortunate. A person can never have too many people who adore them, in my opinion. They bring blessings into my life. My son once said, “You lose enough people in life without losing the ones you don’t have to,” during a really trying period in his life. Those, I believe, are the most sage words I have ever heard.
Remaining Friends
To My Friends Who Are Still Friends: Yes, they are wise remarks. Thank you for sharing them. You raise an excellent point, in my opinion, regarding the letter writer’s capacity to make a significant contribution to the life of a younger person.
It’s worth taking a moment to consider what could make the friendship with her son’s classmate more significant overall if the letter writer isn’t seeing any benefit in it. Relationships are two-way streets.
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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas [email protected] P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
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