To Eric, I recently read Personal Space’s letter, in which she attempted to break off contact with her late husband’s sister and the incessant texts she received from her. After my brother passed away, I struggled with a similar circumstance.
Maybe once a year or so, I get a phone from one of his close friends, whom I had never met before the funeral, who wants to talk. He enjoys talking about my brother, bringing up their shared hobbies and history from high school (we are now in our 70s).
We never truly knew one another well, so it seemed strange to me that this relationship persisted throughout the years. However, I just received a call from a buddy while I was at the cemetery where my parents and brother are buried. My entire family on my dad’s side is buried in the cemetery, which is located in the small town where our family first settled in a different state.
My family of origin, all of my aunts, uncles, and many of my favorite cousins are gone, along with a ton of memories we shared, so the trip had been really emotional for me. I immediately made the decision to start recording the friend’s stories about my brother whenever we spoke going forward. In addition to sharing those memories, my kids and grandkids can learn about him. Since I don’t have any siblings and my brother didn’t have any, these recollections will preserve his memory.
Change in Attitude
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
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Asking Eric: I m concerned about panic attacks my younger sister has when she s away from her boyfriend
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Asking Eric: Condescending nephew ruins aunt s holidays. Can I push back?
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Asking Eric: Messy wife finds husband’s rebukes downright mean
To Change, please: This rephrasing is fantastic. In addition to strengthening a bond with another individual, you are also building and perpetuating a family legacy. It’s also critical, in my opinion, that you figure out how to accept and care for your grief. I appreciate you sharing this.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
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