To Eric, I do almost everything with my six-month-old hubby. We are both completely absorbed in the Netflix series I suggested we watch together.
He recommended that I go to bed early the other night as I was exhausted after my workday. The most recent episode had just begun, and he discussed finishing it. That sounded fine, I said. He was still up, five episodes over where we left off, when I woke up more than two hours later to get a drink of water.
He had actually completed every episode of that season.
This hurts me in a way that is unique. Somehow, I feel deceived. He did apologize when I tried to explain, but this still hurts me a lot. The fact that we had a shared experience together and it feels tainted in some way is more important than simply sitting and watching a series. He has always emphasized how we do things together with pride, which is one of the reasons this time was significant to me.
However, he now claims that I am being petty and exaggerating the situation, and he even stated that he will never watch again. Could you tell me what’s happening here?
Distracted
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R. Eric Thomas
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Greetings, Tuned Out: Because of what I refer to as streaming adultery, many couples have ended up in arguments that could have been the subject of a Grey’s Anatomy subplot. That’s where one person in the line, just like you, sneaks ahead of the other person. There is an epidemic.
This is also due to the fact that these streaming services are designed specifically to entice us to keep viewing. It’s evident in the way some shows always end on suspenseful cliffhangers and in the way the episodes begin immediately after one another. Yes, your husband ought to have followed through on your agreement, but sometimes the algorithm has the last say.
Instead of interpreting this as an indication of more serious trust concerns, consider it a modern setback for the sake of your young marriage. Additionally, have a discussion with your spouse to resolve any issues so that future plans don’t constantly bringing up this one issue. Even if doing everything together occasionally requires one of you to rewatch an episode or two that you have already seen, I hope you will continue to appreciate it.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas [email protected] P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
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