To Eric, The most of my pals are in their 70s, and I am in my early 70s. My pals and I both forget things these days. However, some people forget far more than others. What should I say, then, when I speak with a buddy and they react to something I’ve stated before as though it were brand-new?
Frequently, we talked about it rather than just mentioned it. Additionally, it has frequently been brought up more than once. It seems to happen each time I speak with a specific friend. The majority of the forgotten material is not very significant. It may be a book or a discussion between the two of you.
I was given a firm “I told you that” reprimand when I forgot something with the forgetful companion, and she did, but I was not given the opportunity to explain why. This is starting to irritate me; whether it is a natural aspect of growing older, or perhaps I am exaggerating it.
Memory Issues
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
-
Asking Eric: Is pseudo-grandpa looking to steal his wife s joy?
-
Asking Eric: I took care of elderly mom for 15 years; now my sister expects me to do the same for her
-
Asking Eric: Cross-country friends threw us into the middle of issue they have with adult daughter s boyfriend
To My Memory: Even while the things your friend forgets might not seem like much, it’s wonderful that you noticed because they might be a sign of a bigger issue. Keeping track of the things that worry you, being patient with your buddy, and having calm, caring one-on-one conversations about what you’ve noticed are all important initial steps, even if it’s a natural part of your friend’s aging process.
A ten-step method to addressing memory issues in others can be found on the Alzheimer’s Association website (alz.org). The main elements are:
-
Assessing the situation noting changes, considering what else is going on, and determining if others have noticed anything wrong.
-
Taking action through conversation giving specific examples of behavior you noticed and asking if your friend is concerned.
-
Reaching out for help educating yourself, calling the association s hotline, offering to attend a doctor s visit with your friend.
It may be frightening and lonely to go through these kinds of changes in both yourself and other people, so I’m glad you’re watching out for your friend. You are under no obligation to identify the issue or even find a solution. There are experts and free resources available that are ideal for that. However, your buddy could feel more at ease and be able to take the next step in taking care of herself if you talk to her patiently and kindly.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
Note: Every piece of content is rigorously reviewed by our team of experienced writers and editors to ensure its accuracy. Our writers use credible sources and adhere to strict fact-checking protocols to verify all claims and data before publication. If an error is identified, we promptly correct it and strive for transparency in all updates, feel free to reach out to us via email. We appreciate your trust and support!
