To Eric, I’m a man in my 60s who has suffered for decades while working several jobs at once. Many of those occupations were physically demanding, but I’m finally able to relax and retire with my arthritis medications and impending joint replacements because of a sizable family inheritance that I received late last year.
My eight-month-old wife, who is physically fit and active and has never had a paying job, wants us to use my inheritance to live an active senior retirement, similar to the graying couples in AARP and prescription medication commercials: mountain climbing, building houses.
Here’s what I want to do every day: Walk two miles in the morning or pedal ten miles on my bike, swim laps at the YMCA, nap, and then spend the next ten hours writing, reading, and watching all the old TV shows and movies I missed because I had to learn new jobs for so many years and work 70-hour work weeks.
Assistance?
Calm Retirement
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
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Asking Eric: If 2 people are best friends, shouldn t they both agree on their relationship status?
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Asking Eric: I m done listening to friend s sob stories about her awful boyfriend
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Asking Eric: Gay man, with no children, agonizes over how to bequeath his husband s large estate
To Retirement: Congratulations on starting this well-earned new chapter in your life. At first glance, it appears like you can do both. Your wife could climb Everest while you read a book if you moved into an active retirement community.
But the mention of the inheritance and the recentness of your union raise a small red flag. Is this a sign of a financial imbalance or is it just about having different ideas about how you want to spend your days?
Your perception of the inheritance is influenced by the effort you have made during your professional life. It’s a windfall that opens up a world of possibilities, including items you may have long desired but always felt were out of your grasp. If you don’t fulfill that dream in some way, you’ll feel let down or bitter.
Talk openly and honestly with your wife about how much you both value money. Do you have similar dreams, aside from retirement plans? Do you have a similar understanding of money? How does she intend to achieve financial security? Does it work for you if it’s only your inheritance?
Establishing a solid financial foundation will promote the long-term well-being of your marriage and assist you in making retirement decisions.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
