To Eric, Our efforts to secure the greatest medical care our insurance could cover and a top-notch attorney resulted in our kid receiving a seven-figure insurance settlement. At age 41, he is getting married. He anticipated that we would cover the happy couple’s airfare, car rental, and a ton of petrol cards so they could travel throughout California and the Southwest. Oh, and we’ve also been invited to the wedding.
Since she was three months old, we have been raising his daughter. She recently moved in with him and is almost eleven years old. He didn’t give her any money while she was with us. Her mother doesn’t spend much time with her.
Since we informed our son that we couldn’t afford the wedding, plane tickets, and hundreds of dollars in petrol cards, we haven’t heard from him in six months. Two weeks ago, our granddaughter texted me to ask if I could bring her lunch and dinner as her dad was spending the weekend out of town. It had been five months since we last saw her.
My 74-year-old husband had to retire because of his poor health, and I continue to work full-time. We are always concerned about her. We are concerned about our son’s anger problems and brain injury. The idea of what is happening to them makes us feel heartbroken. What guidance would you provide us?
Grandparents in heartbreak
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
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Asking Eric: Is grandma trying to be funny when she tells her children she loves the new baby better than them?
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Asking Eric: How do I tell my negative Nancy friend I’m not up for being her therapist?
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Asking Eric: I ve resigned myself to a friendship with an ex, because if I don t stay around, she ll have no one
To My Grandparents: Your granddaughter’s welfare is the most important consideration here. Without parental assistance, you have had physical custody of her for the past eleven years. It could be beneficial to discuss with your family lawyer or social worker how you can assist your granddaughter in receiving the necessary parenting if that agreement was created through the Family Court system. That could include submitting a new petition for physical custody, this time with financial assistance from the parents. Additionally, there are various arrangements that you can be guided through by someone who is knowledgeable about your circumstances and has experience in the industry.
Given your husband’s health issues, you and your spouse should talk about whether you can realistically assume physical custody at this time. In the past, you have been a devoted and caring advocate for your kid. You don’t have to cover every detail for him, especially if doing so puts your own well-being or financial security at risk.
Discuss your worries with your kid if he is willing to answer the phone. That might be a challenging talk, considering what you’ve mentioned about his temper. Speaking honestly with him about your situation, however, can encourage him to change or utilize the options at his disposal.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
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