To Eric, Since the outbreak, I have been going for a lengthy walk (about five miles) with one of my neighbors on most Saturday mornings. The companionship and the workout are enjoyable to both of us.
Another woman who lives in the neighborhood has recently indicated that she would like to accompany us on these walks.
Both of us have come to the conclusion that we don’t appreciate this woman’s company enough to hang out with her for a few hours every week. We are unsure of how to dismiss her without making her feel uncomfortable. Do you have any suggestions for what we could say to her that would convey the message without being harsh?
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To Walk Off, please: Since this is a long-standing custom, it’s reasonable to inform the third neighbor that you and your friend have grown to value this unique time spent together and would like to keep it that way. Adding someone else would alter the rhythm and bond you’ve built, even if you’re not talking about really personal topics during your walks. Perhaps your neighbor isn’t considering that factor. You don’t have to reply to everyone who asks to be included in your plans, even though it could come across as cliquish.
Suggest a shorter walk or an alternative activity on a different day, if you have the time, if you want to interact with her in smaller doses. Saying that you and your friend have arranged something special and that you appreciate it for what it is is not in any way cruel. That’s OK to your neighbor.
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