To Eric, A person I briefly dated is now a friend of mine. We are in our fifties. She has no other friends, which is the only reason I continue to see her.
She also informs me that she is the only parent of a challenging adolescent who doesn’t want to make friends. She is a good person, but I don’t like having her around.
Even if I don’t have a particularly active social life, I truly don’t want to spend any more time with her. I do it because she won’t have anyone else if I don’t, but it’s becoming more difficult.
Additionally, I believe she thinks that we will ultimately resume our romantic relationship, but I have made it clear that I have no interest in doing so.
She has also informed me that she will be hurt, therefore I feel like I can’t date anyone else. I am concerned about her well-being. I believe we should meet less frequently. It used to be once a week, but I haven’t seen her in around six weeks due to job commitments and vacations, and it’s been wonderful. She wants to see him again now. I am at a loss on what to do.
A friend’s dilemma
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To My Friend: Even though you may have the best of intentions, nobody is benefiting from your current circumstance. You acknowledge that you don’t like this individual. Therefore, avoid spending time with her. Breaking up with a friend can be difficult since it’s frequently awkward to put something that only exists in feelings into words. However, that seems to be what you both need right now in your relationship.
This has a few alarming details. For example, you have agreed to her request that you not date anybody else. That kind of friendship is unhealthy. She must come to terms with your split. You can’t do her that kind of labor. Furthermore, a good buddy won’t try to restrict your romantic satisfaction or try to control your actions.
Transitioning from dating to platonic friendship isn t always easy or natural. It requires good limits and both parties must have intention. There may come a time when you can be in each other s lives and have that friendship be of mutual benefit. But right now you should be direct and kind, but honest.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas [email protected] P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him onInstagramand sign up for his weekly newsletter atrericthomas.com.
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