Greetings, Miss Manners We received an invitation to a very close friend’s son’s wedding. It stated, “Attire: evening cocktail — slacks, cocktail dresses, jackets, etc.” when I went online to RSVP.
Even for funerals, we never dress like that. But we always look good! We don’t want to spend money on clothes that are either unfit for us or that we will never wear again. Never. How can I turn down the invitation without hurting my friend or her son?
PERSONAL READER: Regretfully, we will not be able to attend.
She doesn’t want to be reprimanded for an attempt that is simply not you, but Miss Manners would advise that this be written in a letter rather than a text or social media post. Never.
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Greetings, Miss Manners When I bumped into Chloe, a friend, she asked whether I knew her buddy Nicole. I acknowledged knowing Nicole. “Nicole is the best, isn’t she?” Chloe went on to say.
I nodded and gave a feeble smile. I am aware that Nicole is a liar and gossip who will disparage someone as soon as they turn their back on her.
Sensing my lack of enthusiasm, Chloe continued to rave about Nicole’s amazing qualities. Once more, I said, “That’s great,” with a courteous smile. Despite her perplexed expression, Chloe stopped talking.
Could I have handled the matter more effectively? I don’t want to spread rumors about Nicole, but I also didn’t want to act as though I loved someone who I had seen being cruel for fun.
PERSONAL READER: You might have risked the danger of Nicole finding out if you had said anything further. You should count yourself fortunate that Chloe used caution and stopped pushing, Miss Manners says.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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