Greetings, Miss Manners Every year, my husband and I enjoy entertaining our family with a holiday dinner, which we think almost everyone enjoys. We started inviting some of my family a few years ago. Deaths tragically put an end to the customs of celebrating with others.
Before dinner at our gathering, these relatives sit down together and don’t move or socialize until it’s time to leave. During supper, they exclusively talk to the people across from them and only engage with others in a group setting.
We’ve started to believe that the event isn’t friendly enough.
This year, according to my husband, we should encourage socializing by breaking up the cabal (as he calls it) with place cards at the dinner table. However, I question whether this would spark a general uprising and make the gathering even more divisive. What ought we to do?
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Making sure that people mix is one of a host’s responsibilities. Miss Manners admits that adults who know each other should do something on their own initiative, but this doesn’t seem to be the case in this instance.
Thus, gently grab Aunt Jennie’s arm and lead her to Cousin Jason by stating, “You both love gardening and the Blue Sox, don’t you?”
You leave them together and walk up to Grandniece Lilia, asking whether you might tell Uncle Horace about friendship bracelets. He doesn’t know what it’s about, but his granddaughter has many.
They will be too absorbed by dinnertime to object to being creatively strewn all over the table.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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