Dear Annie: How much say should our adult children get on whether or not we sell our home and move?

To Annie, please: We adore our house, which is more than 120 years old, and we have invested a lot of time and money in keeping it in good condition. Even though we have everything we want at last, it’s getting to be too much for us. I finally persuaded my husband to think about selling and moving after much deliberation, and he agreed. However, some of our family members are the issue.Our youngest daughter and her family live in a small college town an hour away, and we are considering moving there. They have one child, and in order to be more active in their lives, we would love to be near at least one grandchild. This daughter and her family are amazing; we help them, and they help us. Living near them would be a delight.But some of our other kids and family members are causing trouble. We shouldn’t relocate since we’ll miss our social life here, according to our eldest daughter, who lives in Texas with her two children. She even said that if we relocate, we might never see her kids again.Our son, who moves around a lot, fears that he will have to pay for our care if we ever need it. He believes that in order to prevent further issues, we should remain where we are. My sister and niece, on the other hand, appear to feel they have a voice and are preventing us from relocating.We are in wonderful health, my husband is still employed, and we are in our mid-sixties. At this point in our lives, we just want to choose what feels right for ourselves. All we truly want is for everyone to be pleased for us and support our decision, even though some of our friends and family members are in favor of our move. — Two versus One

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To Two: The choice of where to relocate ultimately rests with you and your spouse. Is it reasonable for your daughter to be worried about your social life? Renting out your current property and renting a house in the new neighborhood for a year would be the wisest course of action. You can always return to your former residence if you wind up missing it at the end of the year. You’ll know you’ve found your new home if not.Try not to think of it as a two-way street. That immediately puts you in a victim mentality, which is uncomfortable for all parties. Try to consider it as their way of expressing concern and trying to keep you and your husband safe, with the end objective of making you happy.

For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].

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