To Eric, I often get one of three meals when I dine at a nearby restaurant a few times a week. After asking me what I would like to eat, one particular waiter interrupts to guess or inform me of my selection. I simply nod yes or no to the guesses while lowering my head. Although irritating, it is not fatal.
She likes it. I detest it.
But if I said something, she would have to decide between being herself, doing something she enjoys, or accommodating me so I can place my own orders. I’m not sure if this is a significant enough issue to warrant a high road. My life won’t alter because of the answer. I can easily endure, and she can quickly change. Who gets to be themselves, I wonder?
Raising Your Voice
To Whom It May Concern: I spent almost ten years working in the service sector. I adored it. I enjoyed meeting new people, visiting regulars, and holding a large number of drinks at once. the entirety of it. I always asked and confirmed, but I also enjoyed to know what others wanted. It’s a requirement of the job. She might assume you’re just an ordinary person who like to be recognized in this manner. Therefore, telling her that’s not the case won’t prevent her from being authentic. It will enable her to perform her duties more effectively.
It’s possible that your disposition does not readily or easily adjust to social situations. That’s perfectly OK. However, remember that stating something like, “I’ve already decided on my meal,” won’t be hurting her. Today, let’s not guess; I’ll tell you straight. Additionally, if you’d like, this opens the door for you to discuss something else. It should be a discourse that you both find enjoyable.
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
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Asking Eric: Older couple misses closeness of family visits when great-nephew spends all his time gaming
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Asking Eric: Was it rude of our friend to cancel dinner plans in favor of hosting visiting relative?
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Asking Eric: Husband threatens suicide if his divorce conditions are not met
To Eric, I’m not sure if my better half and I are connected to the letter from Invisible Dad about his wife purchasing trinkets for their older children and having more intimate chats with them.
I don’t want to ask him because I’m not sure, but I think it might be. Although I never gave it much attention, I assumed that children were aware that gifts came from both of us.
I shall be aware of what I haven’t been aware of, even if this question doesn’t apply to us. If he truly cares so much for the children, my heart is melting. I appreciate you listening.
Everyday Reader
To the Reader: I appreciate your kind words and your candor. Additionally, please think twice before discussing your interactions with your children with your husband. It might be very beneficial and restorative.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
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