To Eric, We’ll call my pal who is a widower Vivian. My husband and I have invited her to join us for supper on multiple times since her husband passed away a few years ago.
I recently asked her to come over on a particular Friday. We decided on a time and restaurant after I inquired roughly ten days in advance. Up until roughly three days prior to our date, everything was going smoothly. She texted me to let me know that her nephew was visiting the area and that she could have a family function on Friday. She would inform me if she was able to attend our date.
I don’t get it. After setting up a date with me, she realizes it might not work out. According to my husband, Vivian prioritizes her family over our friendship. What do you think?
Eating by Himself
To Dining: Although I can see the disappointment of postponed plans, I believe your assessment of Vivian is a little harsh. It makes sense that she would have fewer opportunities to see her nephew than she does you if he doesn’t reside in the area. I hope you’re pleased that your acquaintance is able to keep up familial ties.
Vivian’s family is not in competition with your friendship. Each of these relationships has its own significance. However, resenting her for seeing relatives shows insecurity that could damage your bond. Don’t let it, then. Be realistic about your feelings, offer a couple new dates, and send Vivian your best wishes for her family gathering.
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To Eric, The senior apartment complex where A, B, and C reside is the same. A invites B to a movie, lunch, or other social event. Can B recommend that C be invited? According to my friend, that is impolite behavior. The reverse is what I say. Who is correct?
Social Guidelines
Greetings, Social Context affects this to some extent. A third-party invitation to a movie is not the same as one to, say, your friend’s niece’s baby shower. However, in general, it is polite to ask for permission in advance. Furthermore, it may raise the kind of unwritten norms that, if disregarded, could cause hurt sentiments.
Presuming you’re B, it sounds like you’re attempting to widen your social circle. Your friend can be shy or insecure, or she might just not want to spend time with C. Although I don’t think the request was impolite, it’s crucial to understand why your friend feels that way. Posing a follow-up query, such as: Is there ever a situation in which you would like to invite C? Alternatively, could you just explain your feelings to me? will make it easier for you to comprehend one another.
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