Greetings, Abby One of my coworkers and I had a strong bond. We used to share a lot of private and intimate stories over lunch. I began six months before him, but we were the two new employees.
Although he has adjusted to the workplace successfully, I continue to struggle with varied personalities and communication styles. He’s more well-established at work than I am, therefore he’s joined close management circles. I believe his ultimate goal is to make as much progress as possible in his career.
His priorities shifted, and our friendship was neglected, so I feel like I was left behind. I’ve come to the conclusion that coworkers shouldn’t be pals. Why do I miss this coworker, whom I considered a friend, and feel such a loss? — In California, it was discarded.
DEAR DISCARDED: Sharing personal information about ourselves with someone requires a certain amount of trust. It is obviously painful if that person backs off and goes in a different route. Your coworker provided you with emotional support, but suddenly it’s gone. If you didn’t grieve the loss, you wouldn’t be human.
Positively, you have gained knowledge from this event. Relationships at work are simply that, and expecting more from them is foolish. You had an idea of what your relationship with this someone would be like; he has different goals, and he is pursuing them. That’s life.
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: Is there any hope of reconciliation with my daughter whom I left with her father when she was 13?
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Dear Abby: It bothers me when my friend refuses to wear a bra in public. Should I stop being seen with her?
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Dear Abby: Is late announcement of baby, that s already 2 months old, a gift grab?
Greetings, Abby My husband’s mother’s engagement ring gave him a stunning solitaire diamond, and his parents split when he was a little boy. His first marriage (which, of course, also ended in divorce) featured the diamond as an engagement ring.
We’re debating what to do with the stone as a pair. His mother does not want it returned. He offered that I keep it and have it turned into a necklace, or we could sell it (the gemological institute has certified and appraised it).
I’m not sure what I should do in this circumstance. We have been talking about it for a few years, but it is not an urgent issue. We would value your opinion. — ACCESSIBLE IN THE WEST
Greetings, Jeweled: The two women who have worn the diamond seem to have had nothing but bad luck with it. Consider taking it to a jeweler and negotiating a trade-in for something you would like to wear, such a bracelet or earrings, because you are aware of its monetary worth. (Many gold chain necklaces and bracelets are fashionable where I reside.)
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
