Is groomsmen’s “job” all fun and no work?Dean Drobot: stock.adobe.com
Greetings, Miss Manners Over the past few years, I’ve attended a number of weddings and have observed a pattern. Do the groomsmen no longer have any obligations to the bride and groom before to, during, or following the ceremony?
The groomsmen are nowhere to be seen, save for making a brief speech or toast to the happy couple. avoiding any last-minute duties that might arise during the celebrations, such as holding doors open, bringing items, assembling relatives for that breathtaking sunset photo, or assisting the groom.
This is strange and unnerving to me. I’ve been known to help the bride cross a narrow flower-lined pathway in her long dress or to carry the groom’s drink while he is in unposed photos with friends and family. I’ve even assisted elderly relatives in finding their seats.
Shouldn’t the groomsmen be in charge of these tasks?
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PERSONAL READER: Are any of the bridesmaids aware of this?
The role sounds more like a kind of indentured slavery than an honor, yet those serving are dunned for expenses, according to the depressing stories Miss Manners hears from exploited bridesmaids.
However, now that she thinks of it, she never hears groomsmen whine like this. It would be ideal if they weren’t burdened with needless expenses and chores.
They do, however, represent the bridegroom, who need to give them instructions to perform little host duties, such as the ones you mentioned, and to interact with any stranded guests.
It’s best to discuss expectations with bridesmaids before they sign on.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
