Greetings, Abby I’ve been telling a close friend to put money aside for a rainy day for years, but now they’re in the middle of a real storm.
She is receiving therapy after receiving a breast cancer diagnosis. Despite her and her husband’s well-paying employment, she was living paycheck to paycheck, so I felt obligated to help by creating a GoFundMe.
In reality, she has always been impetuous with money, squandering bonus checks on gambling, cruises, upscale dining, and trips rather than creating a safety net. I have been keeping tabs on her progress.
Her previous spending habits are now coming back to haunt her as a result of this diagnosis. Given her past, many friends and family members are hesitant to make a donation.
Even though she needs to preserve every penny, she continues to indulge in these costly hobbies despite her condition, which is terrible to see. I’ve attempted to speak with her, but she’s in a vulnerable mental and physical state.
I’m torn. Despite my desire to help her get through this trying moment, I am unable to sustain her ongoing spending.
Since it seems dishonest to ask for money for someone who won’t put her own financial rehabilitation first, I’m now going to cut ties with the GoFundMe. Abby, what are your thoughts? How can I strike a balance between morality and friendship? — CONSIDERING THE SOUTH
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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DEAR SYMPATHIZING: I believe you ought to disassociate yourself from the GoFundMe initiative you initiated. You are free to continue providing this woman with emotional support as a good friend, but you are not obligated to help her obtain financial gain.
Fraud may be committed if a recipient uses contributed cash for a purpose other than the one for which they were intended.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
