You were not invited to the large wedding, then. It’s probably not about you.stock.adobe.com/hreniuca
Greetings, Miss Manners I’ve seen that people frequently ask how to handle not getting asked to a wedding—presumably, though not usually in such a way, without being rude in return.
It’s important to note that weddings have become increasingly costly, and couples can no longer afford to invite everyone to the reception. Frequently, the bride’s family is still responsible for paying, and they might need to incur significant debt in order to do so.
Why should we expect them to provide us an explanation of their situation or decisions? Why should someone be offended or criticize someone for being left out, let alone diminish the significance of the relationship? Just let it go, please.
Stories by
Judith Martin
-
Miss Manners: Busy home shop owner wishes you d just come to the door, not text
-
Miss Manners: Is it weird my husband s friend invites other people to come hang out outside our apartment?
-
Miss Manners: Host s burned dinner turns into an argument as guest insists she serve the dish
PERSONAL READER: You should definitely let rid of that grudge. People don’t host weddings big enough to invite everyone they know for a variety of reasons.
However, Miss Manners doesn’t like the explanation you give. It indicates that the guest list is not as significant as the wedding arrangements.
The traditional wedding essentials, such as the ceremony, cake, and a toasting glass, are inexpensive. However, a sizable business has persuaded individuals that they also require exotic locales, lavish cuisine, live bands, disc jockeys, and such ridiculous extras as wedding presents for the attendees, as if they were attending a child’s birthday celebration.
All OK, if that’s what they desire. Miss Manners finds their values troubling when they desire that more than the company of those they care about, or whom they know care about them enough to want to come.
Nevertheless, people ought to acknowledge that not everyone is invited to everything. However, it would be beneficial if hosts avoided showing off photos of the invited groups to the uninvited. (Yes, Miss Manners is aware that they will view their internet advertisements as a necessary component of weddings.)
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
