Greetings, Abby I’m a 43-year-old woman who has always had issues with relationships and self-worth. My boyfriend and I have discussed prior trauma extensively, but I didn’t know how much my mother influenced those areas of my life until the last year.
As far back as I can recall, mother has always told me that I wasn’t affectionate toward her and that she struggled to connect with me from the day I was born. How could I have been responsible for that? She is now a fully diagnosed bipolar person, and I assume she may have experienced postpartum problems.
We still don’t really connect, even though I’ve seen her maintain healthy connections with many other individuals. I feel bad about our relationship right now, but it becomes worse when I see how she treats other people instead of me. Do I make a bad daughter? — OHIO DISCONNECTED
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: For the past 2 years my husband only wants sex from me. Is he cheating?
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Dear Abby: I just found out my husband has been pretending he has a job for more than a year
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Dear Abby: I feel like the man I ve been with for 6 years is never going to ask me to marry him
DEAR DISCONNECTED: If your mother’s statement is accurate, keep in mind that youngsters typically respond favorably to those who show them love. Your mother may have struggled to relate to you because of her diagnosed mental condition, but you are not to blame for it.
You’re not a bad daughter at all. Please seek the advice of a qualified mental health expert if you have any questions regarding what I have stated. They can help you realize that you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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